Clue contract

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This contract, awarded to [player name], entitles them (upon destruction of this document) to one instance of immediate teleportation to a location defined by a clue scroll in their possession. The bearer shall not receive further transport, either to or from, any other location, nor be returned from where they are sent.

The provider is not liable for any unexpected effects encountered during or subsequently caused by transit, including but not limited to:

-disorientation

-confusion

-head injury

-brain injury

-mind injury

-foot injury

-mislocation

-dislocation

-bodily inversion

-temporal splicing

-spell splashing

-loss of trousers

-third eye development

-boiling or scrambling of eggs on person

-voices in head

-large handedness

-magnetic knees

-contact with unknown entities

-skin removal

-skin addition

-death

-bent bones

-inability to find hats that suit personal style

-limb sentience

-travel sickness

-loss of ability to spell or pronounce kambaram karanbwan karambwan

-demonic possession

-demonic explosion

-demonic implosion

-thrall insubordinance

-romantic mishaps

-financial ruin

-tooth mushrooming

-bruising

-bloodveld whispering

-depression

-anxiety

-sobriety

-list writing

-disinclination to acquiesce to requests

-addition of sugar to tea beyond saturation levels

-tree hugging

-inebriated dwarf attraction

-knitting fondness

-visions of cats

-bad luck with spices

-organ duplication

Upon use, the bearer becomes fully liable for reimbursment of the total cost of providing this service. This cost is not to be paid with money.